Sailor Moon: The Recast
by Larania Drake
Summary: This is a dumb as heck parody with Sailor Moon being recast with some of the people from the Saiyan Slash mailing list. Warning, will have yuri later on. MAJOR STUPID.


Deep in my soul 

_There is a love that takes control_

_Now we both know the secrets there, the feelings show_

_True there far apart, I'll make a wish, on a shooting star_

_There will come a day, somewhere far away, in your arms I'll stay_

_My only love._

_Even though your gone, love will still live on, the feeling is so strong, my only love,_

_My only love._

_There will come a day, somewhere far away, in your arms I'll stay, my only love_

_You reached the deepest part of the secret in my heart, I've known it from the start_

_My only love_

_There will come a day, somewhere far away, in your arms I'll stay_

_My only love_

_You've reached the deepest part, of the secret in my heart, _

_My only love, my only love_

Sailor Moon: The Recasting 

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon does not belong to me. At all, and I make no money, at all. Other series mentioned do not belong to me, either. 

Cast: Usagi/Sailor Moon : Miss Fortune aka For-chan

         Luna : Susan aka Mop

        Mamoru/ Tuxedo Kamen : Larania

That's it for now!

            "WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE WAKE ME UP!" cried[VGC1] For-chan, yelling and springing up and out of her head, running past her brother, Goten, who looked at her in surprise.

            "For-chan's gonna be lay-ate!" he chanted, making fun of her as she snagged up her bento and ran out the door, in her school uniform and down the street, freaking out[VGC2] .

            "EEEEEEEEEEPPP!"

~*~*~*~*~

            "Hey!" she yelled, seeing a bunch of kids, kicking and chasing something. "Hey, you, stop!" she plunged in, screaming at the top of her lungs, and swatting with her carryall at the boys.

            They all looked at her in surprise and ran off, and she knelt beside what they had been abusing.

            "Ah, it's a kitty cat!" she remarked, trying to pick it up. It promptly hissed and swatted at her. 

            "OUCH!" yipped For-chan, grabbing, then struggling with the wriggling animal. Her hand brushed something out of place in the cat's fur. After wrestling the kitty into submission, she looked for what she had felt, even while she whined about the scratches the cat inflicted. "How did you get two band-aids on you, kitty?" she asked rhetorically.

            Shrugging, she tugged gently, removing them, and she stared, seeing an odd gleam of gold on the black cat's forehead. 

            "A crescent moon?" she whispered, staring at it. The eyes of girl and cat met…

            "AAHHH! I'M GOING TO BE LATE!" she yelled, and sprang into the air, doing a turn and hit the sidewalk running.

            The cat, which had previously been wild, looked at her, red eyes thoughtful.

            "That girl… I wonder…"

~*~*~*~*~

            "Miss H? What do you MEAN, I got a C- in philosophy??"

            "Miss Tsukino, didn't I write it out clearly enough for you? You made a C-. That is all there is to say about it."

            For-chan's eyes welled up with tears as she prepared to let loose the floodgates. Tipping her head back, she wailed mightily, gushes of water spilling from her eyes. Her teacher, now well accustomed to this behavior[VGC3] , sweat dropped, but was otherwise unmoved.

            "The day is over with, Miss Tsukino. Go home and study harder…"

            For-chan sniffed at her, piteously, trying to get maybe SOME sympathy from her evil teacher, but it didn't work, and her friend Molly dragged her from the classroom.

~*~*~*~*~

            Molly drug her still weeping friend to the arcade, and treated her to a double chocolate fudge truffle milk shake and lots of cookies, attempting to pacify her. She felt a little guilty[VGC4] about what happened to her friend on the test- after all, she was the one that had talked For-chan into playing Sailor V instead of studying. Not that it had taken much effort- they both loathed the subject.

            After an hour, they said their goodbyes, and For-chan got out her test to look at in disgust. 

            "My mom is going to have SUCH a fit when she sees this!" she snarled, balling the offending paper up in her hands. "But… she doesn't have to see it, does she?" For-chan smiled evilly, and tossed the wad of paper over her shoulder, not caring where it landed…

            "HEY!" yelled a voice, and For-chan turn to look, and blinked. Standing a several feet behind her was a tall, red haired girl, wearing glasses and a green jacket over a black blouse.

            "Do you always lob stuff at strangers?" the girl asked, and started to smooth the paper out.

            "GIMME THAT!" she yelled, and charged at the girl, trying to snatch back the paper.

            "Oooh, it's a test," said the stranger, dodging her frantic attempts to reclaim it. She snickered. "One that I don't think you studied for!"

            "You, you, you LIZARD!" For-chan screamed, and the girl winced at the screech.

            "Well, its not my fault you did badly, or is that your best? Are those cookie crumbs coming from your ears?" 

            For-chan turned bright red at that, and turned to run away, dashing down the sidewalk to her house.

            "Hey, you forgot your test!" called a voice from behind her, but she didn't turn, just ran faster, crying about the mean person who made fun of her.

            Unbeknownst to her, the girl, Lara Chiba, took off her reading glasses and took a long look at her retreating back. Long, soft dark hair…

            "There is something about that girl…" she murmured, then shrugged. "She's just a cookie head…" She turned and walked away, with that odd feeling of familiarity haunting her all the way home.

~*~*~*~*~

            For-chan didn't notice that she had been followed home. She went in, didn't mention the test to her mother, and ate quickly, before going up to her room and sprawling on her bed. Looking up at the ceiling, she decided to take a little nap before studying…

            There was something on her chest. Opening her eyes, she was face to face with a… a…

            GIANT CAT!

            Opening her mouth to scream, she was suddenly silenced by the simple method of the cat sitting on her face. Eyes wild, she held still, realizing the cat wasn't all THAT big- in fact, it was pretty normal sized… in fact- it was the cat from that afternoon.

            Blinking in surprise, the scream died in her throat, and the cat backed away, and smiled at her.

            "Well, hello there!" it said, and For-chan opened and shut her jaw, several times.

            "You just talked to me."

            "Yes I did," said the cat. For-chan continued staring.

            "This is a dream. I ate some bad food, I knew the sushi tasted funny tonight…"

            "No, no, no, you are not dreaming," said the cat, looking at her sternly. "I CAN talk, and my name is Susan, and I am here to reveal to you your destiny as a Champion of Justice, to become Sailor Moon, the protector of the Moon Princess…"

            "Yup, that sushi was REALLY bad… I wonder if the rice was too… this is the weirdest dream I can remember having for a LONG time…" For-chan trailed off, and rubbed her eyes.

            "No, you ARE NOT dreaming!" Susan yelled, exasperated. "You are Sailor Moon, it is your destiny, whether you like it or NOT, and you will do you job to protect people from evil!"

            For-chan was still staring at the cat like it was insane.

            "You are saying that you are a talking cat named Susan. I am supposed to be this Champion of Justice, right?"

            The cat just nodded.

            "I am supposed to protect this moon princess, right?"

            The cat nodded again, looking pleased that her charge was coming along this fast.

            "I am going back to sleep."

            "YOU ARE NOT!" ordered Susan, who stood up her full height, all ten inches of it, and lashed her tail. "I'll prove it!" Taking a leap into the air, she did a sudden somersault, and landed back on the bed. A pretty jeweled broached landed beside her.

            "OOH!" said For-chan, picking it up and inspecting it all over. "It's so SHINY!" Quickly she pinned the broach to the knot of her bow. Bouncing to the mirror, she started to look at it, and how well it went with her outfit.

            "All right now, For-chan," said the cat. "Say 'Moon Prism Power, Make-up,' okay?" 

            For-chan looked back over at the kooky cat. "Oh, sure, why not, this is just a dream…" Raising a hand into the air, she called out "MOON PRISM POWER, MAKE –UP!"

            She suddenly felt odd, and there were swirling lights and ribbons all around her. Then it was gone- and looking down, she was wearing this weird leotard like costume, with a too short skirt and big bow in the front. Looking in the mirror, she saw she had a lovely, filigree tiara, with a large red gem on her forehead, and pearls along her hairline. Over her eyes was a white mask that gave the impression of wings.

            "My DAD is going to KILL me," she muttered, looking herself over.

            "Sailor Moon, there is no time for that now," Susan said impatiently, pacing back and forth on the bed. She looked annoyed. 

            For-chan was about to snap back at her, when she caught sight of her mask- and saw something there.

            "THAT'S MOLLY!" she all but shrieked, making Susan arch her back and hiss.

            "Is this real??" Sailor Moon demanded, waving the white mask in front of the cat. Susan, finally getting somewhere, nodded.

            "You friend is in danger, Sailor Moon, you must save her!"  Susan barked, and For-chan nodded, still confused as all get out, half convinced this was a dream and wanting a really BIG chocolate chip cookie, because that would prove she was still in her nice, safe little bed.

            Stumbling down stairs, she ran to Molly's house . When she got to her friends, she let out a terrified, ear drum piercing SHRIEK.

            Her best friend was being strangled by what looked to be a giant troll doll! Around her, women were on the ground, passed out or dead, she didn't know. Backing up, she hit a wall, and fell down to her knees.

            "This is a dream, this is a dream this has got to be a dream because it is a NIGHTMARE!" quavered the girl, eyes screwed shut.

            "Sailor MOON?? What are you DOING?" Susan exclaimed. Her champion was acting like THIS? Desperately she tugged at the dark haired girl's skirt. "You have to fight! You have to save Molly!"

            "I DON'T KNOW HOW! WAHHHH!" For-chan bawled, tears pouring from her eyes.

            Susan was incredulous, until she looked around them, noting somewhat hysterically, that the bodies were getting up, and coming towards them. She scrambled on top of her human's head, and looked around, trying to find a way out.

            "Get up! Get UP!" 

            "Do you have to be so mean, kitty?" Sailor Moon sniffed, eyes having been shut the entire time and not seeing the undead horde coming towards them. 

            "Oh, shut up! FIGHT!"

            Her eyes flew open then, and she nearly fainted, and wailed, oddly enough, this made her tiara started to vibrate.

            "What is this HORRIBLE NOISE??" said the troll, naked, neuter, and with a little gem in its middle, looking as menacing as a spike haired giant plastic toy can get, which is pretty darned menacing. 

            Sailor Moon didn't answer, but instead watched in terror as they once again headed towards her…

            Then…

            A whistle split the air, and a large red rose _thunked _itself in the floor in front of the evil wishing troll.

            "Who are you?" it hissed, and For-chan looked up. Standing with its back to the light, a tuxedo clad figure with an overdeveloped sense of drama stood, in top hat, and wearing what appeared to be dragon wings draped over its back like a cape. A mask obscured its features.

            "Now, Sailor Moon! Use your tiara!" it cried.

            "HOW?" she roared, scared, mad and frustrated.

            Susan took a moment to sweat drop. Of COURSE… She didn't know her powers…

            "Stand with your back to the moon, focus the gem of your tiara! Then yell, moon twilight flash!"

            Shakily she got to her feet and did as she was told… "I will not klutz out I will not klutz out," she repeated then stood up straight.

            "MOON TWILIGHT FLASH!"

            There was a long, pain filled scream, and the troll doll from disappeared, disintegrating into dust…

            "I did that?" Sailor Moon whispered, and looked over at her friend Molly, who had been dropped, but looked okay, the recovering zombies, then Susan.

            "Who are you?" she asked, looking up the mysterious masked figure.

            "You may call me Tuxedo Kamen, and I am here to protect you, Sailor Moon, on your quest. Until we meet again, farewell!" Tuxedo Kamen said, flaring his wings, and vanishing.

            For-chan didn't really answer, just looked at all the people, the cat, then her costume, and passed out.

            In the shadows, a dark, short figure said…

            "We will meet again, Sailor Moon… and then, you will be MINE! MWHAHAHAHAHA!"

~*~*~*~*~

            "… Yeah, I had the weirdest dream last night," said Molly, blinking, talking to her friends. "I was being killed by my mom, who was really an evil wish troll, then saved by this beautiful lady warrior named Sailor Moon, who turned to dust. Oh, and there was a weird talking cat, too. I always thought those troll dolls were evil…"

            Her friends just shook their heads and put off the dream as bad pizza. Then they heard a mumbling, and saw For-chan, looking exhausted, snoring on her desk.

            "Susan… (snorts)… cute guy… Troll…"

            "Talking of bad pizza…"

Tsuduku!

 (roll credits)

**Fighting evil by moonlight! **

See For-chan looking in the mirror, facing Sailor Moon, Sailor Moon smiling Sailor Moon fighting nameless monsters 

**Winning love by Daylight!**

****_See For-chan running after Tuxedo Kamen_

**She never runs from a real fight! She is the one named Sailor Moon!**

_For-chan is Twilight Flashing the Troll again_    

**She would never turn her back on a friend!**

For-chan is hugging Molly 

**She is always there to defend!**

For-chan is bravely tossing herself between Sailor Mercury and danger 

**She is the one on whom we can depend! She is the one named Sailor Moon, she is the one named Sailor Moon! She is the one, Sailor Moon!**

_For-chan goes through transformation dance, then poses with Susan, looking very cute_

* * *

PAGE \# "'Page: '#'  
'"  [VGC1]Cried For-Chan ( you have yelling already so you'll want to rearrange this)

PAGE \# "'Page: '#'  
'"  [VGC2]screeching?

PAGE \# "'Page: '#'  
'"  [VGC3]these what? These fits? These displays...

PAGE \# "'Page: '#'  
'"  [VGC4]sorry? Bad?

PAGE \# "'Page: '#'  
'"  [VGC5]But

PAGE \# "'Page: '#'  
'"  [VGC6]eyes

PAGE \# "'Page: '#'  
'"  [VGC7]one sentence here

PAGE \# "'Page: '#'  
'"  [VGC8]when did they start running?

PAGE \# "'Page: '#'  
'"  [VGC9]Almost? Drop the almost she was being strangled


End file.
